Many people these days are finding online love, but can a relationship formed by internet dating really work in the real world and carry on to be a life-long partnership?
Internet dating has some advantages over the traditional methods of meeting new people – the major one being that it is a very quick way of getting intimate with someone. This is so because you can just be who you want to be when you are chatting online – no-one will see you blush if you say the wrong thing, you can be confident, seductive, attractive, whatever you want to be and it also allows you to take risks that you would never take when meeting someone in real life.
On the other hand you will build your own picture in your mind of what this other person is like which may not turn out to be a true picture at all. In the real world we subconsciously pick up all sorts of non-verbal cues about other people from their facial expressions, mannerisms, body language which helps to learn what sort of person they truly are. So when you come to meet them face to face your perception of them could be completely wrong and you will end up disappointed.
In my opinion it is a good idea to meet up with the person fairly soon into your online relationship before you have had a chance to develop a deep-rooted impression that could lead to major disappointment when you do meet if your expectations are very high. Also, if you have been chatting confidently online and you are not really a confident person, how are you going to keep up that persona?
When you do meet up, be prepared for things to feel a bit strange – you may have found plenty to chat about every night online, but it will be much more difficult in the flesh and you may struggle to keep the conversation going. This is quite natural as you are both having to adjust to the new stage of the relationship and digest the visual cues that each other’s mannerisms and facial expressions will give. You might even decide there and then that you are not compatible after all or on the other hand it might be love at first sight.
Once this first meeting is over, it can sometimes be tempting to go back to the online relationship as this feels much more comfortable, but it is not a good idea to allow this to happen. You must get to know each other properly from an offline perspective and kill of any false impressions you may have about each other online. Allowing the online chatting to continue without further meetings may make you feel all loved-up again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who you really are as real people.
Lots of people do find online love, but it is always best to be prepared and be aware of the pitfalls before embarking on internet dating. Don’t let the fact that you want to be in love cloud your judgement – feelings can be distorted by a computer monitor and an anonymous nickname.